Hey look, I care!

First off, fishnets and heels make me feel sexy. And feeling sexy makes me feel confident. That is all.

I used to not care about my appearance. I would leave the house wearing whatever I felt like, not caring if it matched, went together, or even looked good. Mostly jeans and black... black T-shirts, grey shirts, never really any color. And when I wore color, I never really felt all that comfortable in it. I never really wore anything that could be considered daring, because I was getting the impression from everyone that I should be ashamed of my body, because it wasn't perfect. So if there was something that I could wear to hide myself, then I should.

But I'm not... cringeworthy. I have a belly, and large thighs, yes. But I also have a waist. Do you know how long it was before I realized that? I think I may have actually jumped for joy, because here was a sign, a sign that I did have a shape. And it wasn't round. The more I studied myself in the mirror, and the way that clothes fit me, I realized that I do have a pretty decent shape. Curvy, but I'd much rather be curvy than stick thin.

Now, I actually enjoy getting dressed. I take the time once a week to put together outfits for the week, and while I try to stick to those outfits pretty exactly there are some times when the outfit just isn't working out the way that I thought it should. But that's OK, because that's some of the fun of it - letting outfits develop the way that you feel they should. Or trying some new trend because you have the clothes for it, and who gives a damn if you don't have the right body type?

I read an article today on someone else's blog called "Come back, Pretty" or something like that. I agree with the basic premise - when you leave the house, you should make sure that you look alright. It wasn't that long ago that women were wearing full skirts, crinolines, dresses, heels, gloves and hats every time they left the house, because it was what was expected of them. I don't know when society stopped expecting that of women, but I don't think it was a good idea. I like the more lax rules of dressing that we have now, but I like the idea of putting your 'best face forward' when you go out into the world. (This doesn't mean that I am above schlepping around the house in sweatpants and all my lovely grossness. It just means that I try not to bring that OUTSIDE.)

But yes. For the past two months I have been planning my outfits. For the past week and a half I have been wearing makeup every time I leave the house. Even if I don't plan my outfit, I am sticking to my personal style rule of never wearing sweats outside of the house. There are some limits, after all.