"Well, now that you've seen the plan, I'm going to go... and show the plan to somebody else"

Sorry that I haven't been posting as much (does anybody even read this thing), but I just wanted to cement my plans for later, because I have this feeling that if I write it down somewhere then I will be more apt to actually do it.


I know that this will probably gross most people out, but a while ago I stopped shaving my legs. It was partly because it was going to be winter, so I wouldn't be showing anyone my legs anyway, and partly because... I just didn't want to. So I stopped shaving my legs, and then everything else just fell by the wayside. I think that this has a lot to do with my depression, and the fact that for the past couple of... forever, actually, I haven't really been at my best. So it didn't seem to matter if I was disgusting and hairy, because nobody would see it - even if they wanted to.

But for some reason today is different. I'm not sure if it is because of the fact that I have kind of been talking to a (kinda) new boy, the fact that I am telling myself to get over the old one, or just because I want to take care of myself, and honestly - I don't care. I just know that I woke up this morning and suddenly this wasn't... an OK way to be.

So on top of doing laundry and a fly lady mission - everything centered in my bedroom, which is at the moment one of the messiest rooms in the house, another way that you can tell I have let myself go - tonight, I am going to have a little pamper mission.

I am going to take a nice hot shower, really wash my hair, shave everything and just make myself feel good. Then I am going to lotion up, brush out my hair, and go to sleep.

The really sad thing is, none of this is really groundbreaking stuff. It's all pretty basic, but it's stuff that gets neglected when I'm depressed - not saying that I won't shower, but I won't shave, or I won't brush my hair out after a shower, which leads to tangles, etc. I guess those commercials that say how much depression hurts really know what they're talking about, huh?

A Good Day

Yes, I know that I am VERY creative in my blog titles, aren't I?

So due to a rather drastic scheduling change, I have gone from working three nights a week to four days and a night. And I am very much NOT a morning person. At all. In no way shape or form. So this has kind of been a bit of a problem for me.

Although I kind of like my routine now. My mother isn't much of a morning person either, which meant that when I was in school, mornings were hectic and not much fun. But now that we are both on almost the same schedule, she is actually making me breakfast and we are getting along a lot better than we had been. I like it.

Moving on. I decided that I would wear an awesome outfit today to combat the fact that it is Monday. And I did. Grey tank top with a white button down layered over it, black and white print skirt, tights, Sanitas clogs. Jewelery is my normal rings and watches, a string of pears, and a red jeweled bracelet that someone picked up for me at recycling. Hair is up in a hat, as per usual. Makeup: white shadow, powder, RED lipstick.

But I think the most important thing is that I am wearing my septum ring out! I got this piercing over two years ago, and it is only now that I am... comfortable sharing it with other people. I had my reasons for keeping it hidden, and I still love the fact that I can do that, but... I've reached a point where I don't feel like I have to. It's like the rest of my body modifications - when I got them, I planned them so that I would be able to hide them easily. But I don't have to. I actually took the time to explain my tattoos to my grandmother yesterday, and she seemed to understand them. (Of course, I also have done this before, but still. Progress.)

So maybe this isn't a good day because of my outfit. Maybe it's a good day because of my confidence!